The Five Love Languages for Singles, by Gary Chapman, is the singles version of the Five Love Languages. The first book was intended for married couples, but the principles can apply to any type of relationship. Hence, the sequel for singles.
I had a friend who has been telling me to read this book and learn about the five love languages. I wish I had listened to her earlier. As a brief summary for my readers, the five love languages are:
1. Words of Affirmation: Which means speaking your appreciation verbally. Encouragement. Compliments. Etc.
2. Gifts: Giving items to someone.
3. Acts of Service: Doing things for someone else, whether they ask you for help or not.
4. Quality Time: Spending undivided time with the people you care about the most.
5. Physical Touch: Somewhat self explanatory. This is not meant in a sexual manner, unless you're married of course.
Gary Chapman advocates that everyone has a primary love language, and in order for them to feel loved, their love language must be spoken by their mate, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, family, etc. Though all items are an important part of any relationship, each person has a specific one that means more to them than the others.
The same friend that had been telling me to read this book already had my primary love language nailed down...partly because it's her primary love language, too. I've discovered that what means the most to me is spending quality time with the people I care about. Lack of quality time often makes me feel cranky, lonely, and unloved or neglected.
Reading this book has made me think a great deal about my relationships. I think people often focus so much on their romantic relationships that they don't think they are responsible for satisfying the needs of their family members and friends. While it is true that our romantic relationships are a priority, we cannot forget the people that have stuck with us for our entire lives.
The other interesting thing is that it's so easy to think that everyone needs to be loved in the same way. Since quality time is my love language, it is easy for me to speak that language to the people around me, and expect that they want/need the same thing. The truth is, someone else might feel the most loved by being complimented or being told that their work is appreciated. Or another might feel more loved by getting a hug from a friend, or a backrub. Yet others feel the most love by receiving gifts from the people they care about. Still others need their loved ones to serve them. Though each person can feel loved through all of these things simultaneously, one of the languages is more significant than all the rest. This differs from person to person. We should be able to fluently speak all love languages, especially if we know which ones mean the most to the significant people in our lives.
I would recommend this book, or The Five Love Languages (for marrieds), to anyone. If you are willing to make a significant improvement in your own life, and in the lives of the people around you, it would be worthwhile to pick up a copy. I'm looking forward to discovering and speaking the love languages of the people I care about.
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