Feel bad

I think I just made the right choice, but I still feel bad about it.

I'm supposed to be tutoring a student for my grad Literacy education class. I was paired with a student from an after school program at one of the middle schools. I met her three weeks ago. I haven't seen her since.

Two weeks ago I drove to this middle school only to discover they had no school. Last week I drove there to find she wasn't there that day. I'm supposed to be meeting with her on a weekly basis.

This week I contacted a school counselor from a different middle school to see if she had another student I could be paired with. I just called the after school program to tell them I wouldn't be coming to tutor this girl anymore. I feel really bad about it, but I need a weekly appointment I can count on.

Am I a jerk?

The first of the lasts.

Hello faithful followers. I apologize for neglecting you.

These last few weeks I haven't even been able to sleep enough let alone keep up on my blog.

I'm finding that I've come upon the first of the lasts. Let me explain.
The University of Sioux Falls theater and music departments are putting on "The Producers" by Mel Brooks this week. I'm playing in the orchestra (which I love) and tonight will be our third out of the five performances.

I was talking to the saxophone player between acts last night, and she was saying how excited she was that we only had three performances left. It just hit me that these will be my last three musical theater performances at USF.

Yes, I have been complaining for the last two weeks about going to practices. Yes, I hate how disorganized the whole musical process has been. But once we hit the performances, everything falls together. Sure, nothing is perfect, but it is so much fun. I'm going to miss it.

I only have about ten more months left of being a college student. I'm terrified and excited at the same time. Part of me thinks: I've been a student for seventeen years! I don't know how to be anything else! The other part of me thinks: I'VE BEEN A STUDENT FOR SEVENTEEN YEARS! IT'S TIME TO BE SOMETHING ELSE!

Things are wrapping up so fast. February is waving goodbye to me as I write this blog post. I have less than two months until my senior flute recital. Only a couple more band concerts. Only a few more big projects. I'm overwhelmed.

In spite of the fact that I hate change, and the transition between college and the work force will be difficult for me, I think I'll be ready when the time comes. It's such a weird feeling. I remember the same stuff going through my head after high school. I was done, ready to move on, scared, but excited. Now I can barely remember high school, and I'm thankful I don't have to relive that experience. Will college end up being the same? A distant memory that I'm thankful I got away from?

Thanks for plowing through my ramblings. I was having a rhetorical conversation with myself. Ha ha! Producers reference!

Stop the roller coaster! I want to get off!

I have an overwhelmingly large amount of things to do, and I can't even begin to figure out how it's all going to get done.

I feel like I don't have a life, and the one I do have is consumed by these crazy projects.

Last semester, you better go by fast.