Not sure what I think

I've started writing a few blog posts before this, but never ended up finishing them. I've found myself doing the same with FB and Twitter updates: starting a thought, but then just deleting before posting. I think part of it is, I'm not sure anyone really cares what I'm doing right this second. What's the point of updating the world if the world just reads it (or doesn't read it) and moves on?

This week I decided I needed to do some things for me. I'm tired of sitting on my butt waiting for things to happen. Yesterday, I went sunbathing by myself, which I'd been wanting to do since I moved a month ago. I also went on a bike ride both yesterday and today.

I'm not sure how this ties in, but I guess I feel like things are changing. Much more than I could have ever imagined. And, whether I like it or not, I have to deal with it. I'm not sure how I feel about it all...but it's been an emotional roller coaster of a month. I really can't explain much of it. I'm sorry I'm so vague, but I haven't really sorted it out enough in my head to convey it here.

In light of all this new stuff and confusion, I've once again realized that I like to hold on to the things I know very tightly. I don't like new situations. I often don't like meeting new people that much. But at the same time, how boring would life be if I just did the same things with the same people for the rest of my days? Especially since the people I know have a much easier time moving through their stages of life...and aren't willing to stay put in my little bubble? :)

I guess I'll just leave it at that. I pretty much just talked in circles, but this blog is for my benefit, right? It doesn't have to make sense.

Since my last post...

Lots has taken place since my last post. Not really sure why I didn't keep you updated all along, but part of it might be lack of time. Part of it might be lack of new information.

I have two jobs now. I'm nannying four days a week for three girls. Plus my office job in the evenings. I leave the dorms around 7:35am, and get home anywhere between 7 and 8:30pm at night. I'm pretty wiped out.

Found an apartment and signed a lease with my new roommate. I'll be moving in a few days before August 1st. I'm buying a queen sized bed frame, box spring, mattress, dresser, and nightstand from a coworker for $200. Can't get any better than that.

This summer has had its ups and downs...and stresses. But I'm finding that things always work out somehow.

Wedding Season

So my fellow readers, as you probably already know, it's wedding season once again. Today, Jonathan and I attended and took pictures at a beautiful outdoor wedding. As fun as it was, I'm wiped out.

Another wedding to attend next weekend. I'm excited to just be an attendee at this one. Weddings are much more fun to attend than to help/work at. Or even be in. Way too stressful.

Weddings have to be one of my favorite things. I confess I watch the WE channel on TV way too much. I'm not sure why. I'm weird I guess. I like watching all the planning stages...getting the dress, the cake, everything. So fun.

Summer

I think I built up summer way too much in my mind. I was so excited about not having any responsibility and no homework that I forgot one thing.

Not having any responsibility isn't necessarily always fun.

I've been sitting on my butt the last two weeks waiting for answers from prospective employers. One of which is out of state. The other just seems to be avoiding me.

So my new found freedom is bittersweet with a lack of money and an excess of time to do absolutely nothing. I wish I could say I was enjoying it. Part of me is. But the other part is realizing this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

The sun finally came out today after about a week of clouds. Very jealous of my roommate and her nanny kids as they're heading to the pool this afternoon. I wish I could have gone, but I'm waiting for a friend to arrive. Shopping and a bridal shower to go to tonight. That should be fun.

Lazy Days....but I didn't ask to be sick!

The last few afternoons have been completely lazy.  Part of me is still worried about getting another job, but the other part has no desire to do anything.

Today, I came home from work sick.  Caught some sort of stomach bug.  I haven't really felt good all day.  Hope it's just a short term ordeal.  I hate the flu.

On the other hand, I'm very glad it's Friday!

Empy Once Again

Once again, my room is empty of everything except me and my belongings.  I have no idea where this year went, but I'm grateful for the changes about to take place.

This afternoon, Megan and I are apartment hunting again.  We're hoping to narrow our choices down, so that around July we can pick a place.  

This evening, Jonathan and I are going to a goodbye party for a co-worker of his.  Then a bonfire tonight where I'll get to see JULIE AND RJ!!!  I'm very excited.

Tomorrow the families will be here.  Comissioning service in the afternoon, open house in the evening with Julie.

Sunday we'll go to the early service at church, get some brunch, and head to the Pavillion.  Graduation will be in the afternoon...and then I hope just chilling after that.  Families are heading back on Monday.

And hopefully Monday, I'll be moving to my other dorm on campus.  Are you tired from reading my upcoming events list?  I sure am!

Pizza, Movies, and Studying

Today was entitled "Reading Day" on the calendar.  However, I'm not sure why, because a lot of students here just use it as a day to do fun stuff.

Lots happened today for me.  Went to work, where they had a luncheon in  honor of my graduation.  My HR co-workers bought me this beautiful necklace, and I received another willow tree angel.  It was wonderful.

After that, I came back home and watched "My Little Ponies" with my roommate.  It was great.

Looked for jobs online, though didn't have much success.  I just don't know what I'm looking for...and don't want to start a job and then just quit at the end of the summer.  Hoping something just falls into my lap.

Next, went to the library with a friend for some studying. Just got back from that a while ago.

Ordered a pizza, and I'm waiting for my roommate to get home from work.  From here on out it's pizza, movies, and studying for us.  Should be great fun.

Finally

According to the tracking, my clothes got here Friday afternoon.  After I'd checked my mailbox twice before leaving for the weekend.  Grrr.

Anyways, 2 out of 3 isn't bad.  The red shirt wasn't as cool as it looked online.  Probably going to try to send it back.

In other news, I had a great time in western NE for Isaac's high school graduation.  Definitely a little different than my own high school graduation.  His had over a hundred graduates, with about 7 valedictorian/salutatorian speeches.  I'm sure other people have experienced this, but I had not.

It was great to see Jonathan's family...even the little ones.  Overall, a great weekend.  And no crazy happenings while traveling, which is good.

I'm planning on making a sandwich, then studying for my one and only test.  Music History, you are so going down.

Update

So, I'm sure you all care a lot about the status of my new clothes. Due to my own negligence, they'll be coming later than expected. I put in the wrong billing address for my credit card, and it was declined.

Got it straightened out, but it'll be 7 to 10 more days from today rather than Sunday. Dangit.

Online Shopping

I just got a new clothing catalog today, which was bad news for my bank account. I probably wouldn't have been so tempted if I hadn't spent all afternoon trying on clothes at the mall, but finding nothing.

My purchases include:


My goal was to find a shirt that would go with my new suit coat. Not sure if the red one will work or not, but I thought it was really cute. I also wanted to find a dress to wear for graduation. I like both of these dresses, and if they end up being too short due to my unusually long torso, then I'll have to find some leggings or something. Hope they come soon!

I wanted to buy more, but added up all of my "wants" and got sticker shock. Might have to spread it out gradually. I need to stock up on some decent clothes so I'll have dressy things to wear next fall during student teaching. Professional clothing is hard to find.

Keeping up?

• Finish two page paper on how I will promote a community of learners in my classroom.
• Make a study guide for Music History chapter 33.
• Write a research paper about Shostakovich.
• Write a 16 page document about classroom management.

All due within the next 48 hours. Not sure how that's gonna work out.

Totally random

Today has been a somewhat random day.

For instance, instead of me having to drop all the work I was needing to do to work on this huge project, it was assigned to someone else. Usually I'm the assignee, not the assigner. It was different.

Next, I came back, ate lunch, and actually accomplished homework before band. That usually doesn't happen. Mostly because I usually just decide to be lazy.

Then, in band we had sectionals, so we decided to go outside. When it was time to get together with the entire ensemble, we all stayed outside and played in the wonderful sunshine. Random.

My last totally random thought for now is: Trail mix is not mixed enough for my taste. For instance, there are way too many raisins and almonds. There should be more m&m's, more peanuts and cashews, less raisins, and less almonds. Then I'd be happy.

Results of the big day...

I did it! :)

My recital was today at 2pm. A beautiful spring day. A great crowd. Some great music. I honestly couldn't have asked for anything more.

I'm very excited that the performance went well. I was telling Jonathan that up until today, I have never been happy with any of my performances in front of the public. Ever. Until today. Somehow (though I still haven't figured out how) I managed to pull off five songs and not let my nerves get in the way. It was a great feeling.

My dear friend Kaia said a prayer for me right before it started, and I know my family has been praying for me for a long time. God really showed up in a big way today to calm me down and allow me to use the gifts He's given me to the fullest. I'm so thankful.

Though I know not a lot of my recital attendees read my blog: Thank you. Thanks for coming. I really appreciate it.

Thanks to my teachers: Jennifer Hawkinson, Jonathan Neiderhiser, Nancy Wilcoxson, Dave DeHoogh-Kliewer...for believing in me all these years, and for the hard work on their part in making my recital happen.

Thanks to my accompanist: Carol Flower. Man, she is one heck of a piano player!

Thanks to my fellow classmates for playing with me on my recital: Kaia Mogen, Ronna Ringen, Lora Egan, Matt Ulmer, Sherri Jurgenson, Tom Sandhurst. You guys are awesome.

Thanks to my family: for driving hours to get here, for being dragged around Sioux Falls for two days, for helping me set up and tear down, and for their moral support and love they've always shown me. I could have never done anything without them.

Thanks to my boyfriend: Jonathan. He's been encouraging me through this whole process...even with all my whining, complaining, and busy-ness. Love you, honey. Thanks for always being there.

Thanks to my friends: for all your encouraging words and support!

And now...time for some relaxation. I asked for extensions on all projects due in the next few days, so I'm free as a bird tonight. Going to relax, watch a movie, and just hang out with Jonathan. Life is good.

PS. Pictures and maybe video coming soon?

Recital

The day has finally come! I'll give you all the juicy details about how it goes. :)

Nearly Here

The recital is only a few days away. How did this happen?

Sunday around 3 pm will be the best time in my college career so far, I believe. That would be after the recital. lol.

In the last two days alone I've been putting in hours and hours of practicing. Sometimes I wonder if it's enough. However, yesterday around 4 I was wiped out. I think that says something.

Today, I have a rehearsal with my accompanist, wind ensemble, more practicing on my own, and then hopefully I'll get to relax a bit tonight with Jonathan. Oh yeah, I need to write a paper by 5pm.

I hate these last minute assignments that say: e-mail to me by such and such a time. The thing is, the teacher won't get around to grading it for another month. So why should we have a deadline? Seems a bit hypocritical.

I'm very cynical about school and life in general. I'm very tired of the uncertainty of housing, jobs, summer plans, money, etc. I just want stability! Is that too much to ask?!?

Productive Morning

A productive morning so far. What can be better than sleeping an extra hour, not having to go to work, finishing program notes (hopefully), practicing, and picking up my cap and gown for graduation?

Ok, so I haven't done all of these things yet, but I will before the morning is over.

I'm very glad I decided to take the next three days off of work. I never realized how much time and effort I put into my job. It's nice to forget about it for a little bit. In spite of the fact that I like my job, it's nice to have a break.

What shall we do today, kids?

I know. Let's write on and rip down posters that other people have carefully placed across campus. Sound like fun?

Whether it was premeditated, or a drunken split second act...that's exactly what happened to a couple of my recital posters I put up on Friday. Frustrating? Yes. Retarded? Yes.

Jonathan says to not take it personally. And I can't, because I'm sure whoever did it had no idea who I am. But at the same time, who does that? How old are we again, people? I don't run around the place where you live tearing down your stuff!

I've never really had much confidence in people my age. I seem to relate to adults better, because I cannot stand an ounce of immaturity. Sure, I can be silly every once in a while, but most of the time I'd rather tell the screaming college girls to grow up. I do not deny that there are some pretty demented and immature adults out there as well.

Once again, another reason I'm ready to be done with this recital, school, and dorm life.

Not what I expected...

This week has not turned out like I expected. First...I came down with this crud that has me sneezing and blowing my nose like a crazy person. I can't think straight, can't focus, can't work on homework, and can't force myself to care about my pending recital.

Second: I expected my program notes to be done right now. Thank you so much, cold, for the interruption. I should work on them tonight. Hopefully.

Part of me wishes the recital was this weekend so I could get it over with. The other part of me is so glad it isn't, because there are a few things I need to wrap up.

However, high point of the day: my dress is in my possession. Hooray! My girlfriends are coming over to see it later this evening. Still debating on the shoes. I bought open toed ones, but then thought maybe my toes would be distracting. So then I borrowed a pair from a friend, but I'm not sure they work well. Ugh. I know! I should go buy another pair! lol.

I'm hopeless (see post below).

Shoes are my weakness.

Out of all the pairs of shoes I already own, I bought another pair of black heeled sandals tonight. I wanted something pretty to go with my recital dress. I think these will work just fine.

What was wrong with my other shoes, you ask? Nothing. Am I addicted to shoes, you ask? Unfortunately, yes.

Second addiction: earrings. Though my urge to buy earrings has faded since high school, I found that I couldn't resist a buy 2 pairs for $12 deal at New York and Company today. I keep stealing my sister's earrings every time I go home, so I thought I'd buy a few pairs that were a little out of the ordinary for myself. I like them.

Wish I could put pics of the shoes on here, but I can't find one that will let me copy. They're cute. We'll leave it at that.

Mother Nature is throwing a temper tantrum all over the Midwest.

That was my funny quote from yesterday. Somehow, all in the same state, we had blizzard warnings, tornadoes, and flooding all in the same evening. Weird.

I'm sort of on spring break. I've decided this week will be good for getting caught up/working ahead on school work. It somewhat doesn't really feel like break except for the lack of classes and a room to myself. Pretty nice.